The Raven (2006)

Sometimes B rated movies are some of the flicks I enjoy the most. While the effects aren't equivalent to a Hollywood blockbuster, many times you'll find decent acting, an interesting story, and a couple of hours of entertainment. They are simply, FUN.

Unfortunately none of these hold true for The Raven, something I call an F flick instead, for total failure.

Even a Poe lover such as myself (I wanted to name my youngest daughter "Fiona Lenore" or "Annabelle Annette"), it is nearly impossible to stomach this movie beyond the first five minutes. The publisher proclaims- "Poe's influence can be felt throughout the movie and it is a terrifying tale". What they fail to mention is the terrifying part is simply having to watch this movie. Nowhere in the movie will you feel haunted, scared, or frightened, as you'd expect to feel from a Poe story turned into a full length feature. The words "eerie", "spooky", or "horrifying" will never be spoken.

The idea seems good and done the right way, could make the movie both haunting and eerie. In this interpretation, a teenage Lenore is torn between two spirits battling for her soul. She's tormented by nightmares and flashbacks, brought on by an unhealthy obsession with Poe's works. As the Raven looked on, there is a thousand ways this movie could twist, use one of many of Poe's works, and scare the daylights out of anyone.

Unfortunately, the acting is terrible, and instead of being frightening it becomes ridiculous. As Lenore sleeps, the evil demon that haunts her looks more like a bald-headed Austin Powers than he does one of Satan's pawns. And the portrayal of Poe, who scribbles mercilessly on a tablet as he watches the young girl sleep makes you wonder if Edgar himself is rolling over in his rabies infested grave.

If you see this movie in your video store and think "Hey! This could be interesting!", take my word and realize, IT ISN'T! Take the $4 and go get a bucket of ice cream with it. You'll never know the misery you've avoided.